- "It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, do the complications increase exponentially with cup size?" (from Fidelity)
- "Is your yelling designed to scare me, because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be scared of. More yelling? That's not scary. That you're gonna hurt me? That's scary, but I'm pretty sure I can outrun you."
- "When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done, trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane. So when I hired you, I also set aside fifty thousand a year for legal expenses. So far, you've come in under budget."
- House: Right rudder. Bank, bank, bank!
Cuddy: Good coffee? The rest of this hospital is busting its tail and you're...
[House's eyes get really wide, and he covers them with his folder]
Cuddy: What are you doing?
House: Trying to think of anything except the produce department at Whole Foods.
[Wilson smirks]
Cuddy: I am working. It got hot. Stop acting like a 13-year-old!
House: Sorry. You just don't normally see breasts like that on Deans of Medicine.
[Wilson tries to look anywhere except at Cuddy's chest]
Cuddy: Women can't be heads of hospitals? Or just ugly ones?
House: No, they can be babes. It's just you don't normally get to see their fun bags.
- Cuddy: ...working with people actually makes you a better doctor.
House: When did I sign up for that course?
Cuddy: When did I give you the impression that I care?
House: Working in this clinic obviously instills a deep sense of compassion. (He threatens her) I've got your home number, right? In case anything comes up at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Cuddy: It's not going to work. You know why? Because this is fun. You think of something to make me miserable, I think of something to make you miserable: it's a game! And I'm going to win, because I've got a head start. You are already miserable.
- House: See, this is why I don't waste money on shrinks, cause you give me all these really great insights for free.
Cuddy: Shrink. If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake.
- House: (complaining about having to teach a course) Why is it always me?
Cuddy: Because the world hates you. Or because it's a class on diagnostics. Pick whatever reason feeds your narcissism better.
- We're going to a gallery; we're not getting married.
- Then move on to your secret, secret, secret stash.
- Cuddy: Where did you come from?
House: Apes, if you believe the Democrats.
- "House, I'm tired. Can we get to the talking part of this conversation?"( under my skin )
(after wilson pretends to be God over intercom)
Cuddy:HOUSE!!!
House:God!! Quick!! smite the evil she witch
Cuddy:House,were you sitting on information that your patient was sexually assaulted by her father?
House:God,Why have you forsaken me!!! | |
- Episode 5x06, Joy - Cuddy was going to adopt a baby, but the birth mother decided to keep the baby. at the end of the episode she and House had major lip lock.
- Episode 4x15, House's Head - Stripped in House's fantasy. She also gives House mouth-to-mouth at the end of the episode.
- Episode 3x19, Act Your Age - After House toys with Wilson, making him believe Cuddy sent him flowers, she had gone to a play with him. House mentions to her that he has two tickets to a play. We later find out she declined to go with him because she already had another "date" set up with Wilson.
- Episode 3x18, Airborne- Suffered from Mass Hysteria on a flight back from Singapore.
- Episode 3x17, Fetal Position- Became "House-like" in an attempt to save her pregnant patient, Emma.
- Episode 3x16, Top Secret - We learn she and House had a one-night stand.
- Episode 3x11, Words and Deeds - Cuddy forges evidence and perjures herself on the stand to keep House out of jail.
- Episode 3x09, Finding Judas - She gets temporary guardianship of a patient, six year-old Alice. When she refuses to give broad spectrum antibiotics and Alice gets worse, House, who is detoxing, tells her, "It's a good thing you failed at becoming a mother, because you suck at it!" She's later found crying in her office by Wilson.
- Episode 2x22, Forever - We learn that Cuddy is attempting to have a baby and is on fertility medication. House will later help her with her injections, twice daily, in the ass.
- Episode 2x03, Humpty Dumpty - Cuddy's handyman, Alfredo, falls off her roof and she gets involved in his case.
- Episode 1x18, Babies and Bathwater - She gives a speech to the Board, trying to convince them to get rid of Vogler since he is accountable to no one and if they don't get him out now, then he will own them. Her speech convinces the Board to get rid of him and his $100 million.
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House Character's Backstory: Dr. Lisa Cuddy leads a very busy life as the sexy dean of medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. When not hard at work, she's often found sorting out House's mess. 
